It seems there have been a lot of renovations around here. We recently had some cabinets put in under our stairs and I am well, in love. They are are great for storage and will help keep our home a bit more organized!
We have also been in the front yard planting, transplanting, and adding some new foliage to “yesterday’s” dormant spots. I absolutely love being in the garden and can’t wait for everything to bloom….in its time.
And then, there is another type of renovation that has taken place recently. The renovation of my heart. And if it were a Facebook status update it would sound like this, “Renovations are never easy, especially when it is your life.” Let me explain. Hubby and I took an amazing trip to Maui about a month ago. It was a much needed break, a great chance to reconnect, and it gave us the opportunity to finish the sentences we haven’t finished because of many children underfoot. Over the course of that week, we relearned some things about each other that had taken a back burner. We realized that we had in fact put the kids in the center of our relationship which was something we had never wanted. It was time to take our marriage back and pursue it with the same fervor we had committed to 10 years ago. For me, it means asking for help which is extremely hard for me to do. I am so used to being with the kids all day that I just go on autopilot and don’t ask for help. Honestly, I don’t get it all done in one day {whatever the “all” is} and then I spend my nights tying up loose ends when I could be hanging out with hubby. And so, we are adding more chores to the kids charts. I am making a list of the things I want to get done during the day, the absolutes and the maybes and then letting the maybes go. And lastly, it is putting my phone down and my computer to sleep when hubby and I have precious alone time. Wow, technology is fabulous and I love it, but it can seriously steal me away. Hubby deserves more.
Also being renovated is my mommy style. I wrote this post about narcissism recently and the topic has not left my mind yet. I suppose that means God still has work to do. I am a stay at home mom. Most days I really like my job. Occasionally, I LOVE my job and then there are the days I wish I could do something else. I know that sounds bad, but I think many of you could relate. I forget how blessed I am. I have three amazing children that have special talents and abilities. Their minds are sponges that are anxious to soak up anything they hear, both good and bad. My home is a place of refuge and safety from the cold world, but it is also a classroom and I am a teacher. No, I don’t homeschool but I am the one that spends most of day with them. I have countless opportunities to teach them. For some reason, I have lost sight of that in the last two years. Instead of spending time investing in my kids, I feel as though I spend all day seeking a little break for me. A chance to “escape” my job and crawl into a little whole {technology makes this really easy}. Don’t get me wrong, for sanity sake we all need a break at times, but have you ever flopped into bed at night and had to ask for forgiveness because you knew that you didn’t do your job well that day? I used to ask for forgiveness a lot and then it got to the point that I stopped asking for forgiveness not because I gave up, but because I settled for it as the new normal. That is never the normal I wanted in my home. My children are only home for a little while and I want to make the most of time that I have with them. What does this look like from my perspective? More craft time even though it will more than likely destroy my newly mopped floors. Letting the kids “wash” the dishes and get water all over the place instead of turning on a show so that I can do it quickly and then go check my email for the last 11 minutes before the show is over. Include them in my daily to-dos instead of getting frustrated that they are too present and I’m not getting anything done. Spending time outside taking in God’s beauty and keeping my phone in my pocket the whole time. And lastly, taking opportunities to teach them to pray. My prayer life is lacking and this is part of my personal renovation, why not include the kids?
On paper this seems totally overwhelming and yet I have incredible peace. There is no possible way that I can balance my marriage and my family perfectly. I couldn’t even do it well, but I have a God that has all the strength I need. He promises that He’ll never leave me nor forsake me. He delights in me and wants to spend time with me. He loves me and he loves my hubby and our kids. He has great plans for us. These are the promises I hang on to when I feel burdened by our newly renovated life. I spend time with the builder in the early morning while the house is still and quiet. I seek Him and receive the tools I need to LIVE that day! To be present in the moments. Yes, that is it, to be present in the moment and to make the most of those moments.
Renovations are never easy, but the end result is beautiful.
:: KC ::